Trials and Tribulations

I'm at a point in my life where I'm at a bit of a crossroads.  I feel like I'm trapped in a box and there's no way to get out.  At times, someone or something opens the lid and sheds some light, or throws some food in, but, I am still there, hoping that someone will toss me a ladder...
..
I was sickly as a child, and no one really knew what was wrong with me.  my parents took me to so many doctors, and  still, no one really could give us an answer.  Then, when I was in 5th or 6th grade, I got sent to the Cleveland Clinic, and eventually, they did a biopsy on nerves and muscles.  They knew I didn't have AIDS or Cancer, or many other diseases, but there really wasn't a box I fit in.  They said the closest thing to what I had was something called CPT 2.  I have recently found out that CPT2 is genetic and I don't have the markers, so I don't even have that.

I'm not so sickly as I once was, but, in 2011 I had some dry skin that opened up, and I got a staph infection which caused the wound to get worse and worse.  They put me on anti-biotics, which helped, but just weren't cutting it because I also contracted pseudemonis (I guessed at the spelling).  That's a more serious infection and I ended up having to be hospitalized at Christ Hospital for like 3 days.  They had to give me IV anti-biotics. Then, they had to put a port of sorts in my arm.  That was annoying.  And I had to have medicine put in ALL THE TIME! I had a pump that shot meds into me.  And it would always act up, so I couldn't go anywhere.  I watched so many movies and read so many books.  I couldn't work, so, I started to have trouble paying my bills (I just had to pay car insurance and for gas, and I was supposed to pay my student loan.  I got behind on it and had to get a deferment.) Then, as if things weren't bad enough, at the end of the year, I saw a Gynecologist for the first time, and I was scared to let him do the exam, so he had me do a sonogram.  They found a growth, so they made me do an MRI or a CT scan which made it clear that it was a cyst that was bigger than a basketball and had apparently been there for 5 to 10 years, so they had to do surgery.  Right before I got that news, my car broke down for good on New Year's Day 2012.  I still wasn't working.  I had just gotten my infection beat, but i still had a wound.  I was feeling pretty low.  I finally went back to work, but had to tell them that I was going to only work for 2 weeks and then I had to have surgery and be gone another 4-6 weeks. They were very understanding.   My surgery went well, and I was the rock star of the floor because my cyst was 30 lbs of fluid that had blown up my right tube and engulfed my ovary, and was pushing my organs around.  Medical students had been watching the surgery and thought it was really interesting.  Everyone was buzzing about it.  I came through the surgery well, and I was awake before anyone thought I would be.  My parents, sister, and bestie were amazed at how alert I was. 
I recovered from that fully.  You can barely see the scar.  My wound healed up too.  But, all of that put me so behind that I feel so tired.  Things have not been easy.   But, I have an amazing family and amazing friends.

Magic in the movies

I have been getting into musicals lately, and maybe a part of that is because when things aren't going so great in my life, I like to have an escape.  I like to have somewhere to hide until I can get past it.  Believe it or not, as much as I LOVE musicals now, I used to say I hated them.  I think that was because, many times musicals aren't realistic I wish they were, I mean, wouldn't it be nice if everyone was always singing and dancing, and smiling? I think so.  But, alas, no.  I had acutally never seen Singin' in the Rain until a little over a year ago.  I just discovered On The Town around the same time.  Many times, I am more into the movie musicals than Broadway.  That's not to say that I don't like the real show at all, I just tend to like the singing more in the movies.  This is just my opinion, it IS a blog anyway... But, I think the singing in Broadway shows is too showy, or too fake, or maybe it just seems like its trying too hard.  That's my opinion.  Now, I like that the musicals you see on stage have more music... that's always good, but a lot of times, I don't like the added songs.
For instance, I bought, what I think is the original broadway cast recording of On The Town from the forties an it was fine, it just, didn't have the same zing and energy as the film.  I also think that the singing is better in the movie... Just in general. I DID really like the song "I Can Cook" that I guess Hilde sings to Chip... THAT'S not in the movie, and neither is the song, "It's All Free" that the gang sings to Gabe when he's upset.  in the movie, they sing a much peppier song with basically the same meaning called, "You Can Count on Me".  I like them both equally, and I totally understand that you wouldn't want 2 of the same songs, or 2 songs with the same basic meaning in a movie... That makes sense.  In the movie you have Frank Sinatra and Gene Kelly... That in itself is enough to make the movie better than the show... I like that the musical is one about old friends and new friends.  It's about love and loss. And, it's bittersweet because you know they only have a day in New York, which is almost heartbreaking when they meet the girls... But, you don't really feel that until you REALLY sit back and analyze it.  Something else, that I'm only bringing up because I want an excuse to tell you how great my friends are, is that;  whenever I watch this movie, I always think of my besties, THE CORE.  It doesn't work out quite the way I'd like it to, since there are 7 of US, and 6 of THEM... And I had to switch character traits and genders or whatever to really get the essence of everyone in the musical but, here is how we crumble:
I am the most like Ann Miller's character, Claire Huddssen.
my sister Jess is actually the most like Frank Sinatra's character, Chip.
Dusten is the most like Betty Garrett's character, Hilde
Meghann is the most like Vera-Ellen's Character, Ivy
Harold is the most like Jules Munshin's Character, Ozzie
Greg is Gene Kelly's Gabe.
Megan was the odd girl out.  She and I are a lot alike, but she's nicer than I am... I am also more blunt.  I put myself as Claire for that reason.  I was the only one who fit her.  BUT, the only other character is Lucy Shmeeler who is Hilde's roommate.  Lucy is a dork, to put it bluntly.  And Megan isn't really a dork... I am... But, she's not really Ivy, or Hilde or Claire, or any of the guy characters, so Lucy was the closest to her, sadly.  And just so you don't think that I DON'T know who played her, she was played by Alice Pearce who you may know better from TV's Bewitched as Gladys Cravitz, the nosy neighbor....

Anyhow, if you haven't seen it, rent or buy it. Amazon was selling it in a nice package for 6.99. I only have the VHS unfortunately, but, I WILL buy the DVD eventually. It's fabulous!