I'm at a point in my life where I'm at a bit of a crossroads. I feel like I'm trapped in a box and there's no way to get out. At times, someone or something opens the lid and sheds some light, or throws some food in, but, I am still there, hoping that someone will toss me a ladder...
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I was sickly as a child, and no one really knew what was wrong with me. my parents took me to so many doctors, and still, no one really could give us an answer. Then, when I was in 5th or 6th grade, I got sent to the Cleveland Clinic, and eventually, they did a biopsy on nerves and muscles. They knew I didn't have AIDS or Cancer, or many other diseases, but there really wasn't a box I fit in. They said the closest thing to what I had was something called CPT 2. I have recently found out that CPT2 is genetic and I don't have the markers, so I don't even have that.
I'm not so sickly as I once was, but, in 2011 I had some dry skin that opened up, and I got a staph infection which caused the wound to get worse and worse. They put me on anti-biotics, which helped, but just weren't cutting it because I also contracted pseudemonis (I guessed at the spelling). That's a more serious infection and I ended up having to be hospitalized at Christ Hospital for like 3 days. They had to give me IV anti-biotics. Then, they had to put a port of sorts in my arm. That was annoying. And I had to have medicine put in ALL THE TIME! I had a pump that shot meds into me. And it would always act up, so I couldn't go anywhere. I watched so many movies and read so many books. I couldn't work, so, I started to have trouble paying my bills (I just had to pay car insurance and for gas, and I was supposed to pay my student loan. I got behind on it and had to get a deferment.) Then, as if things weren't bad enough, at the end of the year, I saw a Gynecologist for the first time, and I was scared to let him do the exam, so he had me do a sonogram. They found a growth, so they made me do an MRI or a CT scan which made it clear that it was a cyst that was bigger than a basketball and had apparently been there for 5 to 10 years, so they had to do surgery. Right before I got that news, my car broke down for good on New Year's Day 2012. I still wasn't working. I had just gotten my infection beat, but i still had a wound. I was feeling pretty low. I finally went back to work, but had to tell them that I was going to only work for 2 weeks and then I had to have surgery and be gone another 4-6 weeks. They were very understanding. My surgery went well, and I was the rock star of the floor because my cyst was 30 lbs of fluid that had blown up my right tube and engulfed my ovary, and was pushing my organs around. Medical students had been watching the surgery and thought it was really interesting. Everyone was buzzing about it. I came through the surgery well, and I was awake before anyone thought I would be. My parents, sister, and bestie were amazed at how alert I was.
I recovered from that fully. You can barely see the scar. My wound healed up too. But, all of that put me so behind that I feel so tired. Things have not been easy. But, I have an amazing family and amazing friends.
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